February 26, 2007
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And I Love Him Because…
Does it Matter?
~~~~~
Jesse has been letting his hair grow; he likes the feel of it and look of it and the shelter it creates around his face. It comforts him. Lately, his hair has grown long enough that it creates some gender confusion with strangers and he is referred to as “she” more often than not. He has never responded to comments or even mentioned it to me. Today however, a very brassy saleswoman said to him, (handing him gum I paid for)
“and this must be for you, young lady”
and he gave her a firm stare and she said,
“or is it young man?”
more eye contact
“well, which is it? You are too pretty to be a young man but your hair is just so long and…(trails off)”
and my boy looks her in the eye and says,
“why, does it really matter?”
oh my heart, how I love my child.
Comments (50)
Awww!! He is not even my son and THAT just brought tears to my eyes!
Shame on her – rude woman … Good for Jesse to have the heart and courage and mind to speak up a matter of truth… Does it matter? No, not at all.
Wow!
LOL That is precious.
Hugs’n'Smooches!
What a smart person he is.
what a smart boy!!
cool cat.
He is so so so amazing!! You knew that though, didn’t you?
If I don’t get a chance- have a wonderful trip to Paris! We will all be waiting (rather impatiently…toes taping, all staring at your blog page…. sniffling…) for your return!
It amazes me that he is so self-aware and comfortable with himself so young. The boys in my experience are not so. What a tribute to you and your husband… and to your boy.
I was often thought to be a boy when I was an adolescent. It was horrible for me. I could have used even a little bit of Jesse’s confidence back then. As an adult, I’ve made the mistake, of confusing a boy for a girl. I always feel so badly and apologize, probably too much. I try to not do that.
Really, I can understand your heart leaping when you saw Jesse respond that way.
Go Jesse! Just as a siode note, does that boy EVER wear clothes??? LOL What a confident young man
Oh it so doesn’t matter and he is so very wise for having so few years on this Earth.
Oh, that’s so cool. You go on with your great self, kid!
What a very cool and wise child.
love it. this entry gives me the confidence i need with tristan- who is confident too. my own issues of gender placement are coming up- my hair was short and so i was a ‘boy’. but tristan doesnt want to cut his hair and i wont make him… i just needed to read this and have faith in my boy!
He’s beautiful regardless.
And it doesn’t matter……..
He is amazing. He is absolutely it makes no difference.
I like Jesse’s confidence and strength. Wish he could bottle some of it and send it my way. When do you leave for Paris
Julie, That is DEAR and SWEEt and Amazingly Smart. That’s what i want to say to some of the numerous people who say these things to my Aidan with his long hair and pretty face!
What a child, what a divine soul. That was the perfect answer. Your boy gives me goosebumps.
he is a credit to his wonderful upbringing…
What a strong, smart young lad!
Jesse is so awesome! My Addy gets the same thing with his long hair…
He is SO smart!
That boy. He’s going to do big things.
You must be very very proud.
Aren’t they amazing? (kids I mean
I also have a son whose hair is growing pretty long. It has surpassed his sisters now. And it is BEEutiful! 
He gets some weird comments too, but they usually just flow right off him. I’m the one that’s usually going,,”what the heck??” They’re so centered. 
What a wonderful soul your son has….
I feel a little sorry for the saleswoman, but I do admire his self-confidence and conviction.
I don’t really understand how people get confused anyway. With very few exceptions, even long haired boys usually look like boys to me, and the same for short haired girls.
hey, why can’t boys be beautiful as well? that never made sense to me…
So beautiful and confident!
good for him, and it shocks me how rude people can be, and not seem to realize it. i hope the woman was embarressed after that.
good for him! i don’t get people with that attitude. i went through that with my older and caved in to pressure to cut his beautiful curls off. i won’t be caving with my baby!
cackle cackle. i like him.
Way to go, Jesse! You tell her.
He is a pretty guy, totally going to be heartbreaker when he’s older.
He’s right, I don’t know why it would matter either. If it makes him happy then that’s why it matters!
What a great response. My Jman grows his hair out every winter but as soon as it get’s hot he wants it gone. He gets lots of girl references as it approaches his shoulders (man I wish my hair would grow that fast) but has never seems to notice or care.
That boy… ahem, that PERSON… is going to do some (more!) incredible things in his life. I can’t wait to see what they will be!
wow, that is one awesome response…
i wish more people, not just kids, would think that way!
with this post, i know that the 21st century is upon us! thanks for sharing!
Beautiful
He has such wisdom.
What a wonderful child! I always love to hear the words of wisdom that fall from that sweet boys lips. I think he shows what wonderful parents you and your husband are.
He is quite the brilliant, gorgeous, loving young man. I just kinda of want to hug him! He will grow up to be a wonderful old man. ….he reminds me of Morrie in “Tuesdays with Morrie”
<33
Liz
Rock on, Jesse!
he is amazing!
it doesnt matter jesse!! we adore your boy too! cant wait to see those loads of picttures!!!
Ha ha! I love it! My husband has long hair (to his waist). The prejudice will never end….it’s just amazing that he has figured out the key to deal with it at such a young age. Good for him! And good for you on being the mom that allows him to define himself…
ohh good for you jesse! this 40 year old can learn a lot from you.
that rocks!!! old soul???