May 28, 2006
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The Good, The Bad
and The Bra-less-ness
(now with mosquitoes, fish and marshmallows!)
We are back from Mimi and Papa’s camp! I am exhausted but it was worth it, overall. The good parts of camp included:
The lake
The fishing
the fish
The kayaking
the glamour
The relatives
(my foster sister)
my sister
my niece
Mimi
The snacks
Rosie, Rosie, Rosie!!!
ice cream on the trip home
~~~~~~~~~~~
The Bad
The mosquitoes and blackflies
(see Roo’s face in above picture)
The fishing
(Jesse caught and released 8 fish and was thrilled to no end until the 9th fish he caught swallowed the hook and had to be “put down” as it could not be saved.)
His heart is broken, still.
The Snacks
(Mimi limited when and what the kids could eat because she felt (feels) they were a bit out of control in the snack dept) This is despite the fact that their snacks consisted of fruit, nuts, yogurt and cheese. This was awkward for me as the kids are used to eating what/when they need to.
It is an issue I have to consider.
The Ice Cream
(sometimes it falls off the cone)
sometimes a nervous break-down is necessary…
The Bra-less-ness
(and you thought there would be pictures!)
Bwahahahaha!!!!
I am glad to be home.
Comments (36)
Looks idyllic!!!!
we are hoping to move to maine in a few years
i went there last summer for the first time and fell in love…and your pictures always take me back. roo has the most beautiful eyes! i can’t say it enough!
and as for mimi telling you how to control your babes i can’t imagine how frustrating that must be. from what i’ve seen your children are living in a world full of love, exploration, joy and messy messy beauty. and what i think is most important is that your children are loving and kind and really experiencing the world they live in
you inspire me on how to parent my future children 
Roo’s poor itchy, itchy face!
You have a beautiful family, so full of love and happiness. I hope your tenderness is soon soothed.:love:
Brenna says::littlekiss:
Glad to see you back. Sounds (and looks) like a great time. sorry about the control issues
:sunny:WeLcOmE HoMe!!!:sunny:
:love:There’s no place like home… hehehe! :love:
Snuggle up together after warm baths and rest in the comfort of your own beds, in the luxury of living beneath your own set of rules & standards… or like us, lack there of… :goodjob:
:sunny:BeAuTiFuL PiCtUrEs!!!:sunny:
K~
Sometimes the not so good has to come along with the good. I am glad the trip was fun overall.
Ahhh family is seldom without its “hooks”. I know I will face similar critiques from my mother if she lives that long (I’m not joking she is o-l-d). Oh man, even worse, I’m going to get it from my ILs.
You handle it all so gracefully. My mantra still is, and will always be, WWJD? (what would Julie do?) I was reading the first part of a book called “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn and thought of some of your posts. Way to go mama!
my parents were over tonight and kept saying to jaden ‘where are your clothes…’
what kills me is growing up, i hardly EVER wore clothes during the summer. what’s the big deal??? i just don’t get it.
glad most of the trip was fun.
bralessness is the way to be!
Beautiful photos! Sorry about Mimi. Gosh, that’s so hard. When we are with my parents I hear a lot of “You are being such a good boy.” and then there are the comments when they aren’t such “good” boys. It’s so hard Mama! Thanks for sharing your photos. You have the most beautiful, peaceful children! :love: :sunny:
Beauteous pics…fun had by all…and we all have our Mimis!
Looks like the kids had a lot of fun!! (barring the mosquitos
)….I want to ask you something but I do NOT want it to come out as a criticism, because it is not at all. I would e-mail you but I can’t find the link to e-mail you in your blog and since a lot of the other mamas who read your blog seem to parent the same way you do, maybe they can help answer this for me…..I guess I’m wondering what the benefit is to letting your kids do whatever they want with no boundaries whatsoever. That’s nothing like real life…? I am very curious as to the philosophy of this way of parenting….not so much the “right now fun and freedom”, that I can understand, but what about the longterm affects? I know we’re all doing what we feel is best, and I guess the reason I’m asking is because I’m still trying to “find my way” as a parent and I just don’t understand and I really want to. Please don’t be offended, I think you are a WONDERFUL mother and your kids were given to you because you are the perfect mom for them. I just don’t understand, maybe I have it all wrong, I don’t know. 
Well, overall it’s always worth it! (for us, anyway…) Les Expertes say that kids understand that different people/households have different rules, so hopefully their experience with Mimi will mostly highlight how much they appreciate home. I’m guessing it’s *you* who ends up feeling the most vulnerable after the weekend, so sending some CA-mama hugs.
It’s definitely obvious from the pics that no matter how loud and naked she thinks her grandkids are, Mimi loves them!!
And what’s up with bralessness in the “Bad” column??
I hope this does not translate as awkwardly as it feels to write it but I love you. I love your children and their boundless, unkempt and free spirits. I take notice and rearrange my thinking to give my own son less boundaries and more freedom because of your influence.
I revel in his independance and fear less the opinions and limitations of society. Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself and your beautiful children with the likes of me and mine.
I hope that part of my comment offers some strength to you to continue on your path because there are many who look up to you for strength and inspiration and we are grateful. 
I’d use it as an opportunity to explain to the kids how varied people are in their ideas on how to do things and how “the right way” is a completely ambiguous statement depending on who’s point of view is behind it.
As for eating, I let mine graze if they like. If they don’t like what I make for supper they are free to make themselves something else (provided of course, they don’t choose ice cream and gummy worms for every single meal ha!) I specifically buy kid friendly items, fruit, veggies, peanut butter, nuts, popcorn, crackers and cheese, sliced pepperoni, pizza sauce, shredded cheese, etc so they can find *something* in their to their liking. My brother thinks i’m weird to give them that many choices, especially at meal time, but I can’t be bothered by his issues on the subject.
It’s a hard thing to change the world, and by raising your children in a way that is alien from whatever is perceived as ‘normal’, you are effectively changing the world. I say, GO YOU! I’ll continue changing the world from my corner as well.
it seems mothers always tell their children how to raise their children. I’m sure youre mom resented it frm her mom too! haha
anyhow we all have different techniques, ideas and theories on hwo to raise children. and things are si different then thy were when we were kids! kids were not allowed to have thought or opinions… and it’s so hard for many grandparents to understand that.
I can’t say I do things exactly liek any other parent. we have maybe be stricter than some, and freer than others. but what is important is that we choose to do what we feel will best prepare our child for the life ahead of them while enjoying and learning from the present.
if this cna’t be explained to your mom… then I guess perhaps you can explain it to your kids. (I often have these conversations with Eli about why my mother worries and frets and controls eveyr last damn thing on this planet! haha)
((hugs))
oh and the weekend looked like a blast! I’m getting jealous! I need some camping soon!
I was looking forward to the bra-less-ness, it’s true.
That lake looks idyllic. Did you grow up in this place? And, poor little Roo’s face!
So glad you got to spend time with family! Oh, we had lots of those kinds of comments when our boys were younger. LOTS. But now that they are older, and doing fine, it has stopped. We are probably somewhere in between on the structure scale…it fluctuates depending on the day and the situation. However, my dad had repeatedly told me I am too “loosey-goosey” as a parent.
My in-laws were out and out horrified! Now, they are easy-going about it all. The boys are older, they are fine and I think the family can see that no children were harmed in the process. Hope your tenderness is eased soon. ((((((HUGS))))))
We have Mimi boundary/respect issues as well. Man, it’s tough to keep your cool when somebody is not only stepping on your parental toes but is letting your kids know that they aren’t ‘enough’. I understand your tenderness.
There is always good and bad in every holiday. As for the bralessness – you’re on your own there (=
Looks like a pretty good time overall! You’re right, you always gotta take the good with the bad on these family trips
Wow, sounds like a fab time was had with difficult issues arising. Why can’t people let you raise your kids by your standards. I could understand it if you were mean or beating them, then relatives might but in, but objecting to freedom? and the oppurtunity to just BE themselves…I don’t get it. I also think it’s a generational thing. I just hope that I don’t tread on my kids toes when (if) they have children!!
oh don’t get me started on my MIL issues… What kills me (and my husband) is that some of the things that my MIL is so concerned about with my kids, are things that she was NOT so concerned about with her own kids. It’s as if in grandparenting they get little brief chances for a “do-over” in parenting – or that they want to make sure they have an influence in some way. If they did everything *exactly* the way we want things done, that might be kind of boring
As it is, maybe someday your kids will have some silly memories, like “whenever we visited Mimi we had to be fully dressed, that’s for sure!”
Looks like a wonderful time! (bugs excepting, poor Roo!)
I hope you can find peace with yourself and Mimi. It’s hard not to take the differences as criticisms. Hopefully she doesn’t mean it that way and is just doing what she knows best.
Your mother sounds like my mother. I’m eager to hear how you handled the situation. My mom and I are in engaged in an email conversation about furniture right now (mainly how I shouldn’t let my kids jump on my couch because then they think they can jump on hers.) LOL.
Glad you’re home. :sunny:
As usual, the pics are worth the wait.
I’m sorry there was friction during the trip. I just don’t think it’s a family get-together without a fair amount of bs.
So long as you know that you are an inspiration to mothers everywhere..that’s all that matters. Oh and that your kids are insanely happy and THAT, my dear, they are!
Wow! That retreat is something the kids will remember for a long time! It looks like such fun.
Happy, happy bralessness!
Sounds like a very nice time! I have the opposite issue with my mom. She stocks the main fridge (and a secondary one) full of sodas, buys them heaps and heaps of presents, and lots and lots of candy. Every time we see her. It’s reckless abandon. Then my kids sob and sob and sob all the way home, (3 hours) because their regular home lives aren’t nearly as nice as life at Grandma’s house.. I feel like I am tearing them away from False Heaven.
(I’m tender about it, too…) (-:
OH come ON julie, i didnt even finish reading the post before i started tearing up… that’s not fair.
Frankly, after meeting a lot of young boys, and after watching City of God for the first time and feeling the iciness on my back and the young boy laughed in the smoke and silence of his own gun, the simplicity of your words “his heart is broken, still” give me hope for families brought up knowing the value of life.
tee hee to the title!
what fun the kiddies had!
:heartbeat:
I am bra-less right now, myself. Ahh, FREEDOM!
I wish I could help your tenderness right now. You–you wonderful, lovely, amazing woman–have had a direct impact on the way I interact with my children. Someone said above “What Would Julie Do?” and I have to tell you…I have seriously asked myself that same question! You are making such a difference in your readers’ lives. :heartbeat:
Bravo! for you to follow your instincts on what is right for your children. I did not parent my sons with quite the same structure as you have chosen. I did (still do) believe in allowing them to make their own choices, and experience the consequences. The fact that you are parenting this way with an awareness that they need to be offered opportunities for exploration and not dumped in front of a video or TV- tells me you’re on the right track. Good luck with Mimi. Blessings abound
PS: which lake is that? It looks like one near Vienna.
epeemom, it is Boyd lake (in Orneville)
i love your posts & pics so much sometimes (when i have time) i play solitaire to let the page load, sad huh LOL
i know, oh i know how family is. i am coming up on a 2 week vacation to go see them. i love them so much, but sometimes prickly situations abound when my parenting philosophy just doesn’t jive with my family’s…it is not easy…how do you handle it? it is easier now that my oldest is 13 cause i guess they feel i must be doing something right…aack.
your family is so beautiful! i could just lap that doggie up, oh my So Cute!!! and her name is rosie, what a perfect name…
the glamour…ROFL :laugh: I LOVE IT!
I missed this post. It is very touching how Jesse wanted them all to live. And those blackflies are vicious, sweet little Ruby! I hope she starts feeling less itchy and such soon.
sorry about the control issues w/ mimi, I know how that is, too. even though I have more of an appearance of structure in my home than you do, I still get that attitude from family. Im sure all the positive comments must be helping you feel better. I know you are one of the best parents I ‘know’. you inspire so many other moms to let go and learn a little, its wonderful. Even though I share much of your philosophy, I could never articulate it all so eloquently. It never really occurs to me to blog about philosphy.
and :goodjob: on the bralessnes! I am fee now too, and I am unless Im in public! thats the way to go for me. :shysmile: