February 9, 2006
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A Fierce Longing
I miss my dog.
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It has been 20 months since she lost her battle with a rare cancer.
She died under the desert sky with the wind calling for her.
I held her in my arms then, and cried.
I missed her before she even left us
and have been longing for her ever since.
She steadied my gait and calmed my spirit.
I am lost without her.
“everything reminds me of my dog
beautiful things
sunsets remind me of my dog
Gina go to your window
Einstein reminds me of me dog
I want to pat (her) fluffy head
this whole world reminds me of my dog
my dog reminds me of this whole world”
~ Jane Siberry
(I LOVE YOU ABIGAIL LOUISE…)
Comments (41)
What a beautiful dog. Something about the look in her eyes reminds me of your littlest one. Maybe it’s the way they love you the same.
(((I’m sorry)))
I lost my hairless (sphynx) cat a year and a half ago to cancer. She used to sleep under the covers with me all night. I would awaken with her in my arms every morning. She would follow me everywhere, even curling up inside my shirt for some warmth. i remember her smell, and that she was sticky and warm. Some mornings I expect to awken with her in my arms again, but she is not there. I love the sphynx breed, but cannot bring myself to buy another, because losing her was like losing a child.
I would be lost with out my doggies! i hope you feel better soon!
What a beauty. I’m sorry for your loss. I think part of me will always mourn the animals I’ve lost — it was so hard to open my heart to another cat after losing our kitten Kishi to a rare disease, but we’ve since added two more to the household. While they will never replace her, they have shown me that the hurt does go away and that the capacity for love is endless. I don’t think I realized how much I still missed my childhood dog, Sandford, who died when I was in college until, at 24, I comforted my new basset puppy in his old bed and cried and cried for him while telling the puppy over and over that it would be okay without her brothers and sisters. That puppy is now almost 12 and has a heart condition, and despite having gone through the grief before and knowing, intellectually, that somehow we’ll all make it through her passing when she leaves us, and despite having another dog and the three cats, I can’t imagine what I’ll do without her. So all this is to say, I understand and I feel for your loss, and I thank you for sharing the photos of this beautiful girl.
I grew up with two black labs… now every black lab I see holds a sort of link with them. I do believe our pets are sent to us, like ancestors watching over us.
oh mama, i am so sorry…she is beautiful!
I love my animals and have lost a few over the years… hugs and love to you…
I held my cat while they put him down several years ago and I can still feel him in my arms as his spirit passed…….makes me sad.
I can’t even imagine losing my dog Buck, even though he is getting up there in age I always think maybe he’ll beat the odds and live forever. Naive I know, but I can dream can’t I? Losing a pet is always tough, because they’re so much more.
Jaime
She has a beautiful soul – it’s in her eyes. Dogs are the most amazing creatures.
I have lost many pets over my life and I think I’ve felt deeply about each one. They are sweet little humans that just don’t live as long as us, and I sure wish they did. I think each one sends me the next one somehow.
I know how deeply you feel this loss. I hope you can feel peaceful again soon.
I sometimes already think about missing my dog, and cats.
That just totally made me cry.
She was a beautiful dog, I can see why you miss her so badly.
oh no, did you write this because of me??
What beautiful pictures you have to remember her! Although I know the real images/memories are in your heart…. I have an appt. to put my cat down on Saturday… if he makes it until then.
what a beauty! Things have settled here and our home dog/cat dynamics are so improved. I cherish my little Stella and know how comforting they can be. (((hugs)))
The irony of this entry today of all days is quite strong.
I am so there. I cannot seem to function correctly without my girls. It seems like such a part of me is missing and the house is so different without them here. Miss Moo was my familiar, my very best part, and my beautiful Ceb was more than the sum of the parts - ((((Hugs)))) Thanks for sharing your beautiful lady with us
I can feel your immense love for her. Maybe she feels it, too.
Her eyes look so soulful! She looks liek she understood everything you might think and feel.
I’ve got a black Lab now but have had other dogs before – I know how it feels to lose them. It’s a heartbreak that takes a long time to heal. It was years before I could get another dog again after losing one unexpectedly. My thoughts are with you.
BigG
I am sorry for your loss.
I feel for Julie and know that time is not always a healer, just allows you to manage your grief. Hugs. I know she is with you in spirit xxxxxx
Our lives are so greatly enriched by our animal companions. I feel your loss.
Oh mama, I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard. Blessings to you!
my weener dog died when i was six.
and then i got another one.
and i didnt like him.
but now he is my baby.
and i love him more than anything.
i hope you heal well..
Hugs to you (((Julie))), I know how heart wrenching it can be losing a beautiful member of your family. I cried when I read your piece, for your loss, and it reminded me of the pain of losing my beloved dog when I was 18, that was 15 yrs ago, but the love you have for them is always there. So very special and memories that are so very precious xxxxxxxxx
And I thank you Julie for being brave enough to post this. The comments have brought joy to my heart to know there ARE people out there who love their animals like their own children. I haven’t met many and it does bring comfort in this somewhat crzy world. Hugs and love to all you who read here who have loved and lost and still love xxxxxxxx
i lost my dog, sasha, a in early January. i miss her too.
Just a (((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))
hey sorry about ur dog..i like ur xanga..c/b oh yea my name is ashley…i just found u on my tracker thingy ..so hi..c/b..<3 ash
i am so sorry about your dog. have three myself and one looks just like your dog. i hope that you get feeling better about it. i hoppe to talk to you more often
becky
omg…That is sooo sad..I’m sorry that happened…She was soooo cute too.
</3Paige
that is really sad what kind of cancer?
She died from a cancer called Epitheliotropic Lymphoma. It started as a small rash on her stomach and nose and quickly grew. Despite treatment, she passed away three months after diagnosis.
I am so sorry! I know how that fells! I have 3 dogs and they are my world.
ARHGHHHGG ME A BOOTY PIRATE!!!!!!!!!!!!1 IM LOOKIN FOR ME BOOTYHOLE
losing a dog is always hard cause they are always that friend we needed at the right time
OK, I will have puffy red eyes tomorrow and my husband will ask me, Kimberly, why did you cry hard last night… I will say, I read Julies post, her best, her most cherished, about babies, love, her husband, her family, her fight for freedom for her children, breastfeeding and weaning and then, about her dog who died of cancer…
There was this dog, her name was Sirobee (sir-ah-bee) Nala’s mom in the Lion King you know… she was ours for 8 years. She was Blue grey and she was a weim… a grey ghost… she was wonderful. She got sick. She had a tumor in her front shoulder and leg… Osteosarcoma… Bone cancer. They said they could remove her leg and shoulder and it might buy her a year or 2… but osteo always spreads to the lungs etc… Hubby said it was cheaper than a divorce … he asked how soon can we do it? And how much? $1600.00 and in the morning. We certainly couldnt afford it, heavily pregnant with baby number 5 a new house, but he said we would manage…We got there and the head vet said her lungs were already in trouble, she had only days… I too held her in my arms and she was dying and worried about me and why I was upset… trying to comfort me as she passed, I will never forget that, I knew them the real meaning of “Man’s best friend”… and the pain is still present and real. I loved her and still do. We have a new lab, and 2 chug pups… I miss her still… but it has been good for us, as it will you.
I hope you soak in that new puppy, the wet kisses and all! I’m so happy for you. This will be healing. I can;t wait to see pictures.
K~